Back on my desk after taking a 5hours break from work which I had been stuck to since the start of the week. Before I forget, I thought I better pen down my thoughts I had during my train ride home after spending 3hours in an audit lecture which was followed by only 4hours of sleep.
Like any other birthdays I had, a typical celebration was planned with lotsa food, booze and fun. But it was "payback time". Emotions came all over me and I was really upset at everything else except me. I don't think I am at (entire) fault and it's my birthday so I should be priviledged to be excused - GenY mindset.
When I tweeted about my supposedly bad birthday weekend, a friend commented and I took the situation into a new light. She told me how lucky I was to have had celebrated my previous birthdays and missing one isn't that of a great deal!
I have just started the book titled Rich Dad, Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki(would like to specially thank a friend who lent the book to me). In the first 2 chapters, his rich dad told him to "think using your emotions, not with your emotions." It got me confused about the usage of the word "use" and "with" until last night, when my emotions began to settle down. I told myself cool down, take a step back and look at the whole situation. And YES! It was my fault. Who else's could it be?
What's so meaningful celebrating a quarter of a century old like how i did when I was 16, 18 and 21? Eat, laugh, get tipsy and the following days after goes on as usual.
But today, on the 14th January 2012, I'd like to thank my procrastination skills(nothing to be proud of) which led me to this chunk I have to clear. And my mentor(she hates to be called boss) in mainly work but also teaches and talks to me about life, that woke me up this day. I feel reborn. I gained new meaning and realisation to my life and I want to leave the old me who mixes work and play behind.
During lecture this afternoon we learnt about
1. substance - what you actually are
2. appearance - what you are seen to look like
and
3. mind - what you think
And it reminded me about what my mentor told me about the congruent theory she uses to evaluate people - the way they speak, do and think.
People always say, "So long your conscience is clear, it's okay." BUT can you measure you own conscience? I think it is like how internal goodwill has no value on the financial statements!
In life you do not only need to be responsible to yourself, from the moment you were borned, you already owe your life to your parents! You did not came to this world by yourself! You were also delivered successfully partly to the doctor who did a good job, the nurses who assisted, the driver who sent your mommy to the hospital and the list goes on even to the mosquito that chose not to sting your mom while she had you.
....ok I should stop crapping so much but you get the idea don't you?
Bottom line is, do not take things for granted no matter how big or small a thing, I'm not saying you should be a saint lah! Just learn to appreciate life and in due time life will appreaciate you. A tree does not bear fruit until it's time.
It always hurt to have something when before you had all along to be taken away, but if it's due to the circumstances which you could have taken a better control of and made a better decision for, you can only learn from it and grow up. And this, is definitely making me grow.
*ding*ding*leveling up*ding*ding*
I should get back to work now I wanna enjoy my CNY next week!
Ciao!
the michelle with panda eyes
