CNY is approaching

And guess what have I been up to?

No! Not shopping for new clothes BUT cleaning the freaking house!

Last week I changed the curtains and tidied up the kitchen with lotsa junk being thrown out.

Today, I hand-washed the cushion covers + 3 carpets cleaned out the whole blardy kitchen off it's dust, dirt and grease! And here she goes again, frying up some china type of dumplings.

The walls are gonna get greasy again, and not to mention, the stinking and suffocating smell of oil! It doesn't help when she only wash up the pots and pans, leaving the stove area unwiped!

I tried to be nice when she asked if I wanted to have a try at her culinary skills, and so I accepted a piece. Sundae, the ever hungry and greedy dog, knew I wouldn't give her food off the dining table, and she lingered around the tenant.

And the tenant so happily offered her the skin of the dumpling. Then! Without me looking, both of them went into the kitchen and as I turned around, she was giving Sundaae HALF a blardy dumpling.

The dumpling was coated more with oil than any other stuffs. I just hope Sundae doesn't have a tummy upset tonight.



Humpty's been feeling a lil moody from what I see. She wouldn't finish her normal serving of fresh veges and doesn't sweep up the dried mix from the food bowl. More often than not, I see her lying flatly on the bedding and stare into space or on the wheel.

Probably she just misses Dumpty, but we'll never know cos she can't speak! Hah!

But I can see that without Dumpty around her, she's seemed to be more relaxed and out-going. But she's still very timid and shy. i do hope when she becomes a Mommy, she has the means to take care of her litter.


Back to CNY, I have not found anything I liked to buy! BIG SIGH! AND I guess his new wife would not be keen to pass me money for shopping.

I've observed her, and she's made quite a big change. From the 'oh-so-generous' lady who 'oh-so-cared' for us had turned into 'oh-so-what-do-you-want-again-this-time' step mom.

I would not exactly say she's my step mom, afterall, she's not my main care giver. I don't see the need to address her as "Ah-yi", I call her by her name.


But I guess I'd not try to even ask Dad for the money. He might then give me a bigger red packet? Wishful thought!

I remembered whenever my elder step sister visited us at our home when I was younger, Dad would be so generous with his red packet. I think one record high was $500 for CNY.

I wondered, when were the times Dad actually splurged on me? only on my 21st birthday with the celebration expenses and the Gucci bag and when I topped the class and he finally gave into my pleas for an Sony MD player.


It's so obvious that Dad always favoured my younger sister more, and now that we've grown up, my younger brother is being favoured the most. You know what I mean, Dad and sons. I've always felt that I was the unwanted child. Hah, it's perfectly fine if I wasn't the most loved or favoured, but I think Dad sometimes has to and HAVE to carry himself as a 'normal' father instead of one who does/doesn't listen and one who definitely doesn't talk at all.

Why do I say that?

He talks only when he feels like it. Sometimes we would pass a sentence, awaiting for his comment, but nothing comes out. Or, we would asked him a simple/general question, he'd just look at you, then go back to whatever he's doing.

And if he had been listening? You can't tell for sure because he doesn't reply!!!!

This is what IRKS me the most.

Ok, I'm getting drifted away from my main topic. But my fingers can't stop. Can't stop thinking through what his wife said to me last weekend when I went over for dinner. Can't stop thinking why she left the apartment sneakily when me & sis weren't aware.

It's just weird isn't it? Sneaking out of the house without informing.

The fox's tail under the sheep's coat is soon gonna be exposed.

I hope by then I would have the courage to defend myself and my sister. Bro has nothing going against him as she favoured boys, and he was seldom home due to NS.

I've also noticed that before she was here, Dad and Sis often goes to the supermarket together and from what my sis told me, I felt that they had it good each time they went out to stock up the fridge, or to get stuffs to cook up a storm.

But it all changed. Once I asked my sister if she had been going out to the supermarket with Dad cos I noticed the fridge was quite empty. She replied me saying "why should I go? got her already and they only go to the wet market nowadays."

It's so saddening to hear this. It's like the only bonding activity between a father and daughter was robbed away by the wife.

I don't blame her entirely. She's young, too young, in my opinion.

Such a long post, I doubt anyone would read to the end.

There's more to write, but I'm a lil apprehensive to pen it down. It'll be more wise to leave it to a later date.

Meanwhile, I shall spend more good quality time with my sister, I certainly hope she does not change for the worst with all the broken pieces of our family slashing on her from all directions.


Anyways, on a consolation, Chris is coming back home soon and I'm sure we're gonna have a blast this CNY yet again and I'm surely looking forward to our Bangkok trip in April!


michelle





after the phonecall, I'm feeling worst than ever. It's not that I don't want to care, but it might be because I don't know how. And you can't blame me, I've already told you right from the start of the rs.

I'll miss you Dumpty

Mama's sorry, so very sorry for what happened last night.

Dumpty, you've escaped twice from the tank.
Both times in the night when you were out of Sundae's reach.
You looked so cute with your half opened eyes looking up at me,
thinking what's going on as I scooped you up from behind the cabinet's door where you were hiding

Mama's sorry because she stayed out late after school.

Mama's sorry because the lids that she covered the tank with were insufficient to prevent you from escaping yet again.

Mama's sorry because mama didn't had the courage to go near you when you were lying there, motionless on the floor.

Mama's sorry because all she did was to cry, in sadness and in fear of what she saw.

She was horrified by the scene she had to face as you were covered in a bloody mess.

Mama's sorry because she belittled you.

If it wasn't Mama's fault, you wouldn't had passed away in such a way.


You could have been enjoying a good life for another year or so.
You could have been running wildly on your most beloved wheel.
You could have continued having a life most abandoned hamsters would want.
So loved by both Mama and Dada.


You were the cheeky little hamster. Each move of yours were so stunningly swift.
You loved snatching Humpty's food even when I gave the same portion to you both.


From a tiny hamster you were, you became a dominant female.

I had a sense of achievement when you were finally tamed and allowed us to hold you a little longer than usual.


I'll miss how you look at us with your big bright eyes
I'll miss how you get swung out of the wheel when you run too fast


Last but not least, I'll miss your cheeky self as you never fail to make me laugh with your silly antics.

Love,
Mama & Dada